Eulogy

Where do I begin? Three hundred and sixty five sunsets and three hundred and sixty four sunrises to go. Do we know what will happen to us over the course of minutes, or even hours, let alone months and years. So much can happen in one year, it's all quite mind-boggling. You can be shaken to your very core, or elated above the tallest tower. And yet, time seems to always dwell on the worst things. We can all think of a moment in our lives when we've felt awful, perhaps suicidal, some of us go that far, and yet we seem to feel that most of the time. When somebody is happy, we resent them for it, when somebody is upset, we pity them. When somebody is heartbroken, shattered, broken, empty, lost, loveless, alone, isolated, irrational and forgotten, we do all our best to reconcile their emotions and bring them back to the light. And this light that everyone swears by, the happiness people drive forward with, is one of the strangest things in our very strange and increasingly strange world. You know the type, the cheery friend who always sees the bright side of things. Do they really see it? Or are they just weary and fearful of being the negative one of the group; are we all just embittered cynics?
Cynicism aside, what do years bring us. For me, the past year brought me a story. The greatest story of my life. One that had everything. And one that took time to think about. Where did it go, you may ask. Well, my good friend William had ended his life. Death was to him, like what getting on a bus is to us. I never found love again, only one great friendship. But ultimately I shared this friendship with something that William shared with too. Thankfully I escaped before it destroyed me. So is this goodbye?

Who knows what will happen in the future. My heart may one day skip another beat, and time may cure me. It's not all about heartbreak. But it is all about loss. So if this is goodbye I'd like to thank you, and hope that someday we meet again. May it be soon, may it be at The End.

Goodbye.

Lucien

These are my streets

I live amongst the buildings and the streetlights

I live amongst the sorrows

The sins

The lies

The mortal reasonings

The quiet utterings of 'I love you'

I caused it all

I am that smoke you cling to

I am that woman you kiss

I am this city

I am everything

and yet I am nothing, and you know it.